These 4 photos have been collaged because each provoked a certain emotion within me…in short, I’m pissed. You see these photos were taken at my physical peak – you know, the moment in time when the scale confirmed I weighed the least and my gym PRs climbed every week. However, in my head, I was incomplete. You see I chose these photos because at the time of taking each, I wasn’t just unsatisfied with my appearance, I told myself was not lovable. I kept saying, “lose a few more pounds and you can wear this dress,” “drop a couple more sizes and you can start dating again,” “just get a little bit leaner and you will finally be worthy of everything you want.” What utter bull shit.
The bottom right photo was taken on my first day as a personal trainer. What followed from there was a year wherein practically everyday my coworkers used words such as “disgusting,” “big,” or “fat” to describe my body. Wow. Ya. Just look how fat I was. *extreme sarcasm*
But I can no longer blame them or everyone else for my own mindset. I have come to realize you attract the people, comments, and energy you feel you deserve – and today, I am deciding I deserve better. I vow today, and every day forward, to love my body. Weight gain, weight loss, Hashimotos, or anything else – this is the one body I’ve got, and you know what? It is something to behold.