Yesterday I threw away my Skinny Jeans. Skinny Jeans, for those of you who are blissfully unaware or are confusing it with a current hipster trend, are jeans that you hold on to with plans to wear once you are again, well, “skinny.” Already sounding like a healthy relationship? I think not.
So let me be clear, yesterday in a moment of clarity, empowerment, and inspiration, I chose to donate FIVE pairs of “Skinny Jeans” – some of which haven’t touched my body since before college. That means that for 9+ years, 5 apartments, and 4 moves, I have physically, mentally, and emotionally lugged these pants every step of the way. And finally yesterday, I said enough. Enough of that unfriendly reminder, taking up valuable closet space, telling me I’ll be better when, I was happier then, I’ll never be complete until I can comfortably button those pants on my frame, because…well, can I be honest about a couple things?
First – say those pants fit me today. Say I buttoned them up and they hugged my every curve and I didn’t even get a belly roll in them when I sat down…I still wouldn’t wear them. Why? Styles have changed, my lifestyle has changed, I. Have changed.
Second – even 2 years ago when I was at my fittest, those damn pants still didn’t fit. Even though I was working out 6 days a week, tracking every nutrient I put into my body, and wearing a pant size I had never fit into before…those skinny jeans were still calling to me that I hadn’t done enough. And so two years ago, pre-Hashimotos, at the smallest I had ever been, I was still not happy – and that sucks.
So fond farewell to the pants I have implanted with so much meaning. I know you are not the villains of my story – you are simply trying to fulfill your own purpose in life by being worn and enjoyed. We were just never meant to be, and that’s okay. Us not fitting together places no judgement on you or me. So go – I release you. Be free. To me, as well.